Sunday, 2 February 2014

JKR, I only hope you're reading this...

This week JK Rowling revealed she has changed her mind about the suitability of Hermione and Ron marrying and having two children called Rose and Hugo. (Too much information, anyway. I agree with Jason Black that tying everything up at the end of a novel is a Bad Idea - read his excellent piece here. You should leave the reader something to mull over.)

Nothing JKR can do about it at this stage, you mutter? There is! I came across this idea of genius on Kboards from Landon Porter, an open letter to JKR:

"I am about to offer you two words that will transform that mountain of money into a money continent. I understand completely how you might have overlooked it, but as a fan of comic books, it was thankfully not lost on me. 

Ready for the two words:

Alternate. Timeline.

Seriously, you've already introduced time travel into your universe with the time turner. It's time to stop worrying and love the paradox.

Imagine if you will, the loved ones of one of the victims of the final battle deciding to stop it before it even starts by using the time turner to go back to the first rumbles of trouble: the Chamber of Secrets scare. There (er... then) they set in motion events that end with Dumbledore explaining exactly what the book was then and setting up the quest to destroy the other clearly-no-a-lich's-phylacterys then and there.

Of course, this will involve sending his crack team of The Chosen One and plucky sidekicks and will put into play a whole new sequence of plots for a whole other series of books where you can rearrange your pairings however you want (and also let Sirius live).

As a bonus, killing Voldy early will allow the next set of movies to have a Big Bad who doesn't look like The Master from Buffy got it on with a seal."

I see no flaw in this plan.


  1. I stopped reading the Harry Potter books at around book three, and only saw the first film (I did so want a Nimbus 2000!) but I love this idea. What could possibly go wrong?

  2. Nothing! Ace idea. JKR could write another seven HP books, easily. Or more. No limits.

    I'm looking forward to the one where Snape turns out to be Harry's real father.

  3. Standing your own story on its head? What is not to love about that idea?

  4. Yeah, much better than dropping the odd bombshell like Dumbledore is gay or Hermione should have married Harry.

  5. When you write fantasy almost anything goes, so a few flips with the time turner could be quite stimulating.

    I hated it when Dumbledoor had to die, and didn't really follow the logic. Also as a hopeless romantic I was certain that Harry and Hermioni were made for each other.

    If JKR needs any advice on the physics of time travel or how to get all the romance readers drooling, I'm always available .... at a price. LOL

  6. Q, if anyone can afford your abstruse services, JK Rowling can. When I write my timeslip novel, I shall just have to make up the physics.

    I don't know why all the characters married people they met in the sixth form. Never happens in real life.

  7. When I write my timeslip novel, I shall just have to make up the physics.

    Lexi, there is a precedent for that. Paul Dirac, the great British physicist, used to use mathematical beauty rather than experimental data, as his guide to constructing theories. He constructed beautiful theories of quantum fields with spectacular success!

    I don't know if he admired beauty in women but he also invented the bra .... it pairs with his ket!

    I'm sure that your theories of the space-time continuum will be just as beautiful. *smile*

  8. Alas, I am no mathematician, but the offspring is, so I could always consult her.

    You sent me to Wikipedia, fount of all knowledge. It says 'modern' bras first turned up in the fifteenth's a fascinating topic.

  9. LOL
    I thought it originated with Raquael Welsh in 'One Million Years BC' .... the bear skin variety!

    I've been living in Hilbert space for so long now that I tend to forget that most people don't.

    Dirac's bra is actually a vector in a Quantum Hilbert space.

    I'm really looking forward to your timeslip novel!

  10. Hilbert space - off to Wikipedia again: where there is a really nice animation of vibrating strings to demonstrate...something Hilbertian beyond this humble craftsman's comprehension.