Sunday, 24 June 2007

The Fantasy Novelist's Exam

I have just taken the Fantasy Novelist's Exam. Seventy-five questions, and if you answer yes to any one of them, you fail and are told to abandon your novel.

I answered yes to three, but I'm not admitting it. Or saying which they were.

If you want to take a look for yourself, here it is:


  1. Ah, a challenge!

    I’m taking a flutter on the following that you answered yes to:

    #2 “[The] main character [is] a young farmhand with mysterious parentage.”
    #3 “[The] main character [is] the heir to the throne but doesn't know it.”
    #19 “[A] female character [is] a fearless warrioress more comfortable with a sword than a frying pan.”

    The quiz is a good part horsehockey. Look at “The Matrix.” It answered ‘yes’ to several of the questions. (See question #7)

    And how can one answer: #47? “Do you think you know how feudalism worked but really don't?”

    Tell the story well and you can answer yes to every question.

  2. Two out of three, Norm, not bad.

    I hated 'The Matrix'. (What is horsehockey? Is it polo?)

  3. Horsehockey is a euphemism for horse manure.

  4. Ah. Do you know, I really didn't guess that. It's never heard over here.

    Polo didn't make much sense...

  5. Col. Potter in the TV show MASH said "horsehockey."

  6. So it was said over here and I missed it!

    I used to watch MASH, too.

  7. Ha! I got no yesses for my nascent 'fantasy' idea. Which probably means no one who professes to like the genre will want to read it...


  8. Hey, someone's reading my archive!

    I have the same problem. I am invariably duffed up on YWO by 'real' fantasy writers. 'Is it supposed to be comedy?' they say, uncertainly, and mark 2o-24.

    This could be just one reason for its being unpublishable.

    Oh, and well done. Bet you're the first to score zero.

  9. Heh, I only scored zero because I overdosed on fantasy as a teenager and got sick from all the clich├ęs.


  10. Reading 'Lord of the Rings' at an early age was enough for me.

    It satisfied me so entirely that I have never wanted to open the books again, or see the films, or read anything else involving bloody elves.

  11. Thanks for writing this.